Xbox Voice Chat on iPad - Voice Chat not working with some friends, but not others

I've been trying to troubleshoot this thing for about an hour and it's driving me nuts. My daughter has a brand new iPad (2019 version) and her privacy settings are all set everyone. With some of her friends she is able to voice chat with no problems.
But she can't hear one of her friends, but her friend can hear her. I don't know if it matters if her friend is listed as being in a Minecraft session or not (at least that's what it says under her name in the app) and my daughter is in the Xbox app. When
my daughter tries to launch a voice chat session from within the iPad Xbox app with this specific friend, she is now getting a "something went wrong error".

Does anyone know how to troubleshoot this? This seems like it should be totally basic capability that should just work and I've been navigating pages of privacy settings and I have no idea what impacts what anymore. I've marked everything as Everyone
or Allow in the hopes I can get it to work across Windows 10/Xbox one settings, but the UX for all these pages and how they are related is a complete and total mess. I worked at Microsoft for many years and these pages are just a complete failure in design.

Thanks,

Sean

Hi

I tend to be in private chat with my friends.

You can generally still work with others without the need for voice chat. Depending on the game.

I agree that some games are better to play on your own so you can take it all in.

I agree with some of the others.. Block and Report.. ESO has a big problem with open voice chat and they are trying their best to keep the voice chats PG.. It's a two edge sword sometimes.

Question, I can hear the game audio, but I cant change the chat volume, yet I can still hear my friends in party's and game chat. The only way I can change how loud there voice is to change the game volume on my X12. I tried going to preferences and voice,
but when I switch to play through headset, I don't hear my friends. Is there anyway I can change my friends voice volume? Because chat volume doesn't work on game chat and party chat.

Proximity voice chat doesn't work in Free Mode, but it works for me and friends in Deathmatch.