Why is it that I get banned for messaging curse words to others even when they're being...

Hi Hayden T, my name is Courtney and I would be happy to help.

As the user ngocphi mentions, it does not matter who started the discussion, if at any time you said a bad word or insult towards another person, and they reported you, the team in charge will punish you for that behavior. If you report the other person, the same thing will happen to them as well him. So the best advice is mentioned by the user before me, the best thing is to ignore, block and continue playing without any problem.

We understand that sometimes there are bad comments that annoy and irritate but to avoid this type of inconvenience it is best to ignore, remember that by losing you also win if another person insults you, and you ignore it, the other person will think that you lost but in reality they're punishment will be on the way, and you will end up winning.

May this remain as a lesson, have a Merry Christmas and I wish you good luck.

Best regards,
Courtney.

It doesn't matter who starts the fight if you get reported you get punished

Don't retaliate block and ignore and report thats all you are allowed ro do

I just got reported for inappropriate language because I said a few curse words and got com banned for 24 hours and I'm 100% sure that xbox only looked at my side of the conversation because the person who reported me literally messaged me that I was scared and pathetic because I wouldn't curse and then when I had enough I said a couple curse words and xbox com banned me and if the other person was "offended" they look at the full chat not just the accused and yes I did curse but I was not the only one guilty of offensive messages

How likely would it be to get banned next offense if its for saying a curse word in a message?

I disagree with your assessment. I exchanged messages with both the people in question. One guy I exchanged the messages with received several reports from my part because he was threatening my life. The other guy sent me messages back just the same way
i sent him messages. Yet in the instance that my life is threatened xbox does not suspend his account? This guy kept it up for days. Yet in the instance where I literally sent ONE message with ONE curse word, I get suspended? Which I mean come on guys, code
of conduct aside we can all agree when someone is being a jerk right? Why do I get a suspension for one curse word, and the other guy gets to continue threatening my life for days? The policy enforcement you are describing here doesn't reconcile to the events.