Why does it say "log in to Xbox to join this server" when I try to join a mc server?

Hello CryingOrca789, My name is David. I am an independent advisor, happy to help you today.

When you try to join a Minecraft server and the message "Sign in to Xbox to join this server" appears, it means that you need to have an Xbox Live account to be able to access multiplayer functionality in Minecraft. The Xbox Live account allows you to access Xbox online services, including the multiplayer servers in Minecraft.

Importantly, you need an Xbox Live account to be able to play on external servers in Minecraft, regardless of whether or not you have a physical Xbox console. The Xbox Live account is used as a form of authentication and identity verification to access Minecraft online services.

If you already have an Xbox Live account, make sure you're using the correct credentials when trying to sign in to Minecraft. Verify that the username and password are correct and that you are using the same Xbox Live account that is required to access the server in question.

If you are still having trouble signing into Xbox Live from Minecraft, I would recommend checking your Xbox Live account settings and making sure there are no restrictions or blocks preventing access to online services.

Best regards.

When I try to join a server, it stays on "Connecting to server..." For a while, and never reaches the "Logging in" message. It then says "Disconnected" for the reason why.

So I have done some more troubleshooting. She can join other servers. I on my pc can also join official servers. I do have all the ports open and forwarded that Xbox normally requires. My pc still says join failed when I try to join her. Same on Xbox side. My pc does say could not retrieve address when I try to join unofficial dedicated arks.

When you try to join a server does it freeze? Or does it tell you that the server is full?

That would explain why when I join the dice servers I never play the retail maps. I never join the P servers.