Minecraft Multiplayer diabled when all microsodt settings are enabled for multiplayer

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Thank you for understanding.

Hello Toby Unwin,

Thank you for posting in the Microsoft Community.

I can see that you are having trouble with multiplayer in Minecraft Java Edition. I understand that you have already checked your Microsoft account settings and privacy settings, but the issue persists. There are a few possible causes for this problem, and I will try to help you troubleshoot them.



First, please make sure that you have the latest version of Minecraft Java Edition installed on your computer. You can check for updates by launching the game and clicking on Options > Check for Updates. If there is an update available, please download and install it.

Get the Launcher here: Download Minecraft & Server Software | Minecraft



Second, please check if you have a valid subscription to Minecraft Realms Plus or Minecraft Realms. These are optional services that allow you to create and join private multiplayer worlds in Minecraft. If you have a subscription, please make sure that it is active and not expired.



Third, please check if you have any firewall or antivirus software that might be blocking your connection to multiplayer servers. You can try disabling them temporarily and see if that solves the problem. If it does, please add Minecraft Java Edition as an exception to your firewall or antivirus settings.



If none of these steps work, please contact Mojang Support for further assistance. They are the developers of Minecraft Java Edition and they might have more information about this issue. You can reach them by visiting Contact Us | Minecraft Help and filling out the form.



We're looking forward to hearing from you. If there are any inquiries about our description or if there are any misconceptions, do reply to the post.

Please, let us review if all these options are enabled:

Using the Xbox Family Settings app on your mobile device, enable Multiplayer for Minecraft.

In the Xbox Family Settings app:

Go to Settings > In Enable Minecraft > Select Allow this game.

Turn on Multiplayer to let a member play online with others

Enable Clubs so that a member can create and join Minecraft Realms servers.

To download the Family App: https://www.xbox.com/apps/family-settings-app

Thanks for finding the page.

I wonder how this plays into the following:

https://help.minecraft.net/hc/en-us/articles/4408968616077

FAMILY GROUP MULTIPLAYER FEATURES

3. If Minecraft is rated above a member's age limit, enable Allow gameplay under Enable Minecraft to grant the member and exception to play it.

• Enable Multiplayer to let a member play Minecraft with others online, even if their account settings block them from multiplayer features.
  

We've set the multiplayer as "allow", and the page says this should override age restrictions, but multiplayer just remains grayed out and when hovering over it it tells us to check our microsoft account settings... which we have.

Sorry this issue is such a mess.

From Minecraft/Microsoft -

https://minecraft.net/en-us/article/minecraft-multiplayer-server-safety

“Join Multiplayer Games” Settings
If you have your settings set to block joining multiplayer games, you can’t join any multiplayer games in Minecraft, including shared local worlds, Realms or servers. To enable multiplayer in Minecraft, make sure this setting is set to ‘Allow.’

However, just like ASCllnaut, that setting was already turned on for my children. In other words I'm in the same boat, we can play on the LAN but not on a realm.