if two accounts are sharing xbox game pass ultimate can i sign into the account that has...

Game sharing I think. The account with the game pass ultimate is always signed in so the other accounts on the xbox can play the game pass games.

I have Xbox Gold and Game Pass Ultimate on my designated home console. When my friend signs it to her account on my console. She cannot access my Xbox Live gold or Game Pass Ultimate. How can i share these subscriptions?

Game sharing is only allowed with in households

Game Pass Ultimate benefits can only be shared on consoles. You cannot gain any benefits or use on PC unless you are signed into the account that purchased Game Pass Ultimate.

Unfortunately, subscriptions cannot be transferred between accounts.

In this case, you have two options:
If you play on console, you can game share using your Game Pass Ultimate subscription. Just sign in to the account that has your Ultimate subscription and set the Xbox as the Home Xbox for the account. Download the games you want to play. Then, sign in to your main account and you'll be able to play the Ultimate Games from this account too. Cancel your Ultimate subscription before the next charge and subscribe again on your main account.

Or, you can follow the steps mentioned on the url below to cancel your Ultimate subscription and ask for a refund for it. After getting the refund, subscribe to Game Pass Ultimate again but this time on the correct account:
https://support.xbox.com/en-US/help/subscriptio...

If you have any question, please let me know.

You can definitely game share. You can only upgrade to Xbox game pass ultimate under the same account that has an active Xbox Live Gold subscription.