I want to play Minecraft with a ps4 player on my Xbox and I made sure my setting were set...

I went through my setting on xbox 1 and made sure my settings were adult and I also had to change my statue to appear online. And that made it so I could broad cast instantly

Yes I would double check the settings on both accounts and make sure that they allow crossplay. There is also a setting on Xbox in the Privacy settings to allow play outside of Xbox Live, so make sure that this is set to Allow and not Block, otherwise
it will not allow him to connect to PS4 players.

As i said to someone else If you go on your PS4 MC then got to settings, profile, then while logged into the microsoft account you dont want, go down to Unlink Microsoft Account. It sadly doesnt work for me
and says maybe check internet connection. Tell me if it say the same for you

Yes, I get the same error message (check your internet settings) when I try to unlink my sons minecraft account that is connected to his PS4. By accident, I linked MY microsoft account to his (PS4) minecraft account. Is there a way to reset this? Please!
I really want to play minecraft with my son!

Make sure you check your settings both in the Minecraft game and for online playing on the console. I had to change my settings in game to allow joining other players worlds, so I would check your settings first and go from there. Good luck!

Thanks for the tips:

I'm afraid I couldn't find a settings label 'local server multiplayer' anywhere in minecraft (I did find "Multiplayer Game" and "Visible to LAN players" on my game settings and both are enabled).

I made sure my VPN was turned off ahead of time as that had caused issues with xbox live.

I've a couple of ideas to try this evening and will let you know if they work.

Thanks again.