I can not set my account as the primary in my xbox

I'm not in a family account but my sons xbox is set as primary so he can use my xbox live and games

Ok,

I've logged in and can alter the Windows 10 Online Safety settings on the alt account, but cannot alter settings on my primary.

When I highlight my main profile, the mouse icon changes to a "no entry" icon and I cannot switch to look at look at those settings.

Logging back in with my primary, I still can't alter the Windows 10 settings or switch to the other account.

That wasn't what I meant, what I meant is how long do I need to wait to use my primary e-mail on my primary xbox live account since I've already changed my primary email with some secondary email. Do I again need to wait for a month until I can use my primary
email to replace the email on my primary xbox live account ?

How do i set my an account to primary?

The upstairs console would have to be set as the primary accounts Home in order to share there. You can only share games on the Home console. Since the primary account's Home is currently the basement console, the games are not being shared to the
upstairs console which requires that account to sign in.

If I change the primary gamertag's (gold Purchaser) to the upstairs, won't my kid's Xbox (basement unit) require my(primary) login every time to play a game?

That is what I am trying to avoid. This should be so much easier for this to work with 2 xbox's on the same network in the same home.