How come people cannot join me unless I add them as friend? (Xbox Series S)

Hi XboxGamer0187



We have not heard anything from you in the last 72 hours. Please do not hesitate to create a new thread if you have new concerns. We hope that the issue you reported to us has been resolved. We personally understand that finding time to work on this matter can be little difficult to manage. Thus, we would like to let you know how much we appreciate your patience and most importantly the time you've dedicated to getting a resolution for this issue of yours.



Please create a new topic to discuss these concerns by clicking on this link: Create a new question or start a discussion (microsoft.com)



Regards,



Microsoft Community Moderator

Hi XboxGamer0187

Greetings!



Thank you for posting in Microsoft Community



I do understand the urgency of you wanting to find other ways for this issue of yours in regards with unable to join the game unless added as a friend or the other way around. We are very glad to help you out to find some of the best possible options and troubleshooting's that we can provide for you.



First and foremost, it's important to note that Xbox Series S has a feature called "Privacy & Online Safety" that allows you to control who can join your game and interact with you online. If your privacy settings are set to "Friends Only" or "Blocked", then other players will not be able to join your game unless you add them as a friend.



To check your privacy settings, please follow these steps:



1. Press the Xbox button on your controller to open the guide.

2. Go to "Profile & system" and select "Settings".

3. Select "Privacy & online safety".

4. Under "Xbox Live privacy", select "View details & customize".

5. Check your "Join multiplayer games" setting. If it's set to "Friends Only" or "Blocked", then other players will not be able to join your game unless you add them as a friend.



If your privacy settings are not the issue, then it's possible that the game you're playing has its own settings that restrict who can join your game. In this case, I recommend checking the game's settings or reaching out to the game developer on some settings that needs to be suggested.

In addition, on a perfect scenario. If you do really want your friends or someone to play with you "In-game" you might as well really need to add them first so that you can meet halfway on the game or you can search the gamertag of your friend or someone you want to play with on the "In-game friend list" as well so that either both ways, you can play on the same game together because how can we also play together if we are not being added as friends or how to communicate as well.

For more reference on this issue of yours, you can try to refer on this article provided for more information's :

How do multiplayer games and communication work for cross-network play?



Thank you for reaching out and sharing your issue. I hope all of this information's are helpful. We look forward on your response.



Regards,



Microsoft Community Moderator

I get notifications when people add me, but unless I add them back they don't populate my friends list.

Hi Dave. Unfortunately, these option won't work as the server is hosted on an Xbox One X and I am playing on an Xbox Series S. We don't have access to change the game files, and cannot use Hamachi or reset Winsock. Other people are able to join, the server is located in Ontario, I am in North Carolina and not able to join, someone else in North Carolina isn't able to join as well, and people from South Africa are also able to join. We are also trying to stay away from the non-dedicated server as those are finicky and involve a tether. Please let me know if you come up with any solutions.

I clear my friend list cause I just keep FRIENDS not just people.

Those would find me if needed and those know how to find me if needed.

At least some of them, not my new friends.

But they will sooner or later.

I can always join games or invite people to parties but I don´t have to add them.

I see no point in friending people I don´t talk to.

Stalking should not be supported and that´s what a gamertag history would do.

You would have more stalkers and a ton more trolls.

Do you ever had one of those? If not then you probably don´t know what I talk about.