Cant join realms, need to change settings on xbox.com error

Hi there! Have you done the steps here to setup a family so your settings can be changed?

https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/help/12417/microsoft-account-add-members-to-family

im trying to change the "Create and join clubs" setting and my account is an adult account

And yes i cant join "Realms" in Minecraft due to this

Hello I am experiencing this problem with Minecraft im trying to join my friends realms but it said you cannot play minecraft realms because of how your account is set up. You can change your privacy and online settings in aka.ms/account settings
but it never works i cant find privacy settings anywhere it sends me to xbox support everytime. Please help

i cant join my friends and i cant go online

Hello, My name is David. I am an independent advisor, happy to help you today.

If it asks you for a game pass to join your friends in Minecraft, it may be because the kingdom owner has changed the kingdom's privacy settings. If the realm owner has set the privacy settings to “Friends Only,” only players who have an Xbox Game Pass membership will be able to join the realm.

If you're not sure if the kingdom owner has changed their privacy settings, you can ask them directly. If you don't have an Xbox Game Pass membership and want to join the realm, you'll need to purchase a membership or ask the realm owner to change your privacy settings.

I hope this helps.

Best regards.

Are they comparable for realms, Minecraft says that I need to change privacy and online safety settings on Xbox.com to do so, but I dumb and cat figure it out.