Can't access security setting in Minecraft

Hi I am trying to set the security settings for my son on Minecraft.

We are using a 9th gen ipad.

We sign in to microsoft and Minecraft and go to settings then privacy online safety.

It takes us to microsoft Xbox and says we can't do this because we are either using a child account that's a member of an xbox family group or you're using an adults account that set as a member of an xbox family group.

So we are the first, but what is the problem with this??

What I think is happening is I need to set up a Microsoft Family Safety app and add my son's Microsoft account and then link his device.

So I am on the ipad and signed into the Microsoft Family app. I hit connect device.

It gives us four choices, we hit the one that says iphone and ipads.

It give us the option of a QR code that neither my phone or ipad understands. It gives me an option to click on a link to download the family safe app and says follow the instructions.

Which has taken me back to where we started. Being in the family safety app on my son's device saying how to connect device!!

Help it has been a week of circles!!!!

:)