Cannot join or create multiplayer on minecraft due to child account

We are having the same issues where the child account cannot join realms on an iOS device but if we log that account into a PC it IS able to join the realm

On iOS its giving the account cannot join multiplayer games message

An xbox club includes the possibility to join online multiplayer games and communicate among club members, all these features are locked by default in a child's account for protection reasons. It is normal that a child's account cannot join clubs.

"You cannot play online multiplayer because of how your Microsoft account is set up. Review and change your privacy settings at aka.ms/accountsettings."

This was breaking me. But with hours of searching and trying different things this was the key:

To join a Realm in the first place, the xbox setting You can create and join Clubs must be set to Allow.

So even though I had allowed my child to join multiplayer games, they still could not join my Realm.

You can adjust Join Clubs on the Xbox One console or in a browser.

Xbox One Console:

Login as the parent/adult in the family

Account > Family Settings

Choose child's profile

Privacy & online safety

Xbox Live privacy

View details & customise

Friends & clubs

You can create and join clubs: ALLOW

Communication & multiplayer

You can join multiplayer games: Allow

You can play with people outside of Xbox Live: Allow

In a Browser:

https://account.xbox.com/Profile & sign in

Privacy Settings

Choose the Child Account you wish to amend

Choose Xbox One/Windows 10 Online Safety

Adjust the following:

You can play with people outside of Xbox Live: Allow (not sure if this is needed, but as Minecraft is cross-platform I adjusted this)

You can create and join clubs: ALLOW

You can join multiplayer games: Allow

im trying to change the "Create and join clubs" setting and my account is an adult account

And yes i cant join "Realms" in Minecraft due to this

Child Xbox Live accounts

We keep younger players safe online with child accounts.

Players under 13 years old have online multiplayer disabled by default with Minecraft and won’t be able to join Realms or servers unless a parent changes their account settings. The settings that need to be allowed are:

• You can create and join clubs (more info on clubs is available here)
• You can join multiplayer games

For help with changing these account settings, you will need to change your Privacy and Online settings of
the Xbox Live account.

Depending on your region and the service you’re trying to access, a parent or guardian’s permission may be required for a child to create a Microsoft account. This is in accordance with certain regulations that promote child safety along with greater visibility
and management of data that is stored about your child online. For clarification on these regulations, read more on parental
consent and child accounts for more information