Are you able to use the "Make this my home Xbox" one more than 1 console?

You can only have 1 home Xbox. But I believe you can have your tag on up to 5 Boxes.

I have my wifes Xbox as my home Xbox because I game way more than her but to give her the ability to play BDO or Fortnite.

Unfortunately only one console can be set as your home console. The whole point of it is that you are choosing which console is your main console and most people only have one. This prevents people buying one live subscription and setting multiple consoles
to home which allows multiple other people to share the same subscription without paying.

You may need to reset your relative's console to not be your home and then try it on your own console again.

Try to put the console you are trying to play with the main.

Thanks for the help man, this cleared up my questions 👍

The home console feature is for one console at a time. Once added to one console it is essentially removed from the other console. What ever console you sign in to has all the features of your account when you are signed in.

Can I change my home Xbox console to a different console?

You can change which console is your home Xbox up to five times during a one-year period. This period works on a rolling basis, starting the moment you switch your home Xbox for the first time. If you reach your limit of home console switches for the year,
you’ll get a message letting you know the next available date you can change it.

Note Customer support cannot offer additional switches. If your console shows you’ve made five home Xbox switches for the year and you need assistance, select
Help when you see the message, Can’t make this your home Xbox. You may be eligible to receive an exception.

You can also get help with your home Xbox in Xbox Assist. Press the Xbox button
to open the guide, select
System > Xbox Assist, choose My Xbox Assist >
Search, and then enter My Home Xbox.