"You cannot play online multiplayer through Xbox Live..."

To play online multiplayer you need an Xbox Live Gold subscription. If you don't have that, then you cannot play online.

Specifically from console... don't use Xbox Live Gold, never have.

Gold is required to play online on the console. If you don't have gold, that's your issue.

Specifically from console... don't use Xbox Live Gold, never have.

Gold is required to play online on the console. If you don't have gold, that's your issue.

Looks like you're totally right, so I've got no idea how we've been doing it. Even checked the bank statements, and we definitely have never paid for it, just the Realms subscription. My account is still spitting out errors when I try to access my online
/ privacy options as well, so it looks like I'm just going to abandon the console and play on PC. However it was working before, I don't know, but if the only way forward is to throw out another bunch of money to Microsoft just to access a service I'm already
paying them for... nooooo thank you.

Thanks.

Are you playing Minecraft on a PC or Nintendo Switch or on the Xbox console?

If you're playing on a Xbox console, check on https://account.microsoft.com/services if your Xbox Live Gold membership is in good standing.

If someone else shared their Gold membership to the console you're usually playing on, make sure that that person has a valid Gold membership, and that your console is still their "Home Console" (they can check that by signing in on your console and in the
settings, look under "Personalization" if the console is still their Home Console).

Specifically from console... don't use Xbox Live Gold, never have. The error message specifically steers me to my online privacy / safety settings, even. And thanks to SMuroh as well, though my NAT settings are all kosher.

This is bewildering. The same account used to login to Minecraft ob xbox works just fine on PC to access and play on the realm.

Are you playing Minecraft on a PC or Nintendo Switch or on the Xbox console?

If you're playing on a Xbox console, check on https://account.microsoft.com/services if your Xbox Live Gold membership is in good standing.

If someone else shared their Gold membership to the console you're usually playing on, make sure that that person has a valid Gold membership, and that your console is still their "Home Console" (they can check that by signing in on your console and in the
settings, look under "Personalization" if the console is still their Home Console).