Why can’t I join Minecraft servers and realms?

From Minecraft/Microsoft -

https://minecraft.net/en-us/article/minecraft-multiplayer-server-safety

“Join Multiplayer Games” Settings
If you have your settings set to block joining multiplayer games, you can’t join any multiplayer games in Minecraft, including shared local worlds, Realms or servers. To enable multiplayer in Minecraft, make sure this setting is set to ‘Allow.’

However, just like ASCllnaut, that setting was already turned on for my children. In other words I'm in the same boat, we can play on the LAN but not on a realm.

Hi there. My name is Ron, I'm an independent advisor. I will be more than happy to help you.

It seems that you are using a child account. So what you will need to do first is to create a parent account on https://account.live.com, make sure it is a parent account and the birth date should be above 21 years old then login to the Microsoft account on Xbox.com to create a profile.

Once the parent profile has been created, please follow the steps on this link to add your child account with the parent, https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/help/12417/...

After doing the steps above, sign in to the parent account using this link, https://account.xbox.com/settings

Select your child account there so that we can modify the privacy settings of it then under the tab Xbox One/Windows 10 Online Safety.

Be sure the options You can create and join clubs and You can join multiplayer games are allowed.

Hi

Are you talking about a Realm server or online multiplayer servers? Also, which version do you have? (Java or Bedrock)

Minecraft Realms | Minecraft

Minecraft mojang i dont now if realm server or online multiplayer servers

Hi there Black, my name is Gerardo, and I'm an Xbox player, just like you. I'll be happy to assist you with any questions or concerns you may have.

To play Minecraft online, you need to go to the following website, log in with your account, and modify your privacy settings:

https://account.xbox.com/settings

You should set the following options to "Allow" and save the changes:

* You can play with people who are not part of Xbox Live.
* You can create and join clubs.
* You can join multiplayer games.
* You can add friends.

I hope this helps and if you have further questions please let me know.

Kind regards,
Gerardo.

Thank you for your reply,

I tried to connect again, (Ping: 16ms, Download: 17mbps, Upload: 9mbps) with no drop in wifi. This is a realm bought from Minecraft (so I presume it is running off their servers). When I tried to join, other people were in the realm at the time.

Connecting to a friend's world normally works just fine (hosting or joining) but not realms.