unable to change privacy setting

hello i am having a problem involving privacy settings. i am unable to change them despite the fact that my account is standalone(no parent account hooked up)

when i message my friend, it tells me"you cant access this feature becouse of how your account is set up." i never changed my privacy setting as of account creation, nor have i changed any setting in the xbox app(you cant change privacy settings on xbox app)

when i try to change my privacy setting on xbox.com, i get this fourm on how to do so with child, i click on the first link(the one that redirects you to sign in and privacy settings) but i end up going back to the exact same page.

please help

:)