My Xbox's OS literally is having an existential crisis help

Just to be clear, I've tried power cycling 15 times in the last 2 days, it hasn't worked once and has, if ANYTHING, made my problem worse.

The Xbox appears to boot up like normal, with the green "Xbox" screen that appears for 20 minutes like usual (seriously, terrible decision, as if you needed to be reminded what system you're using.

Then the screen goes away and rather than the home menu popping up, nothing does. I mean nothing, you can't use the side panel, you can't use Cortana, you can't even shut the console off remotely.

Now and again if I get lucky, the OS actually boots but with a LOT of asterisks. For one, I can't even dream of signing in without getting "For some reason SignIn took too long to start (0x8027025a)". Remember that error code, because it's the only thing
you'll ever see on my console. After more perpetual and endless waiting, I can sometimes get the side panel to work too but no icons or game covers load, I can't usually sign in and all and all my Xbox can't do simple tasks like booting up a game. Madden 20
took too long to start, as did every other Madden, GTA, the entire NHL series, friggin' SHANTAE wasn't booting up. Once in a while, I get it, stuff like this happens, but it has occurred endlessly for 4 days now. Because it isn't just games, even VITAL SYSTEM
FUNCTIONS LIKE THE SETTINGS aren't loading, so I can't even try a factory reset. I don't get why Microsoft thought it to be a good idea to create Xbox consoles complete with midlife crisises, but I gotta tell you, it's really disappointing. I could be playing
my NHL 20 Franchise mode right now and instead, I'm trying to fix my console. Which from what I've found, is a pretty hopeless quest. The only thing I've seen is that power cycling bs, which REALLY angers me because it doesn't work, yet everyone acts like
it does and it makes everything fine. Well it doesn't, so give me a real solution or lose my business because it seems like they couldn't care less about their customers even if they tried. And the thought of them putting effort into anything, even angering
customers, is shocking considering how lazy they are to just let stuff like this happen. It's just not fair of them to cheat me out of $300 dollars like that, when Nintendo can make Switch consoles that don't have nuclear meltdowns when you try to play a game
or utilize a basic system function.

I got side tracked though, I'm sick of Microsoft's "support" team dancing around it like there's no issue, power cycling did nothing and I dare say made it worse, I want a real solution that isn't half effort. I want my Xbox back. And I want it in a timely
manner, I don't have months to wait around for "experts" to prance around about how "power cycling shoulda worked man".

Clearly it didn't. You were wrong, just own up to it and make up for it by giving me advice that actually HELPS now. It can't be THAT hard. Although you can bet I'm not taking any chances on the Xbox Minifridge, I don't trust that thing as far as I could
carry it. Just do your job and help me.

:)