I joined a minecraft realm with my friend yesterday but then today when i tried to get back...

Yes, check that your friend does not change the privacy settings.
If they have the same version of minecraft installed.

Hello, My name is David. I am an independent advisor, happy to help you today.

If it asks you for a game pass to join your friends in Minecraft, it may be because the kingdom owner has changed the kingdom's privacy settings. If the realm owner has set the privacy settings to “Friends Only,” only players who have an Xbox Game Pass membership will be able to join the realm.

If you're not sure if the kingdom owner has changed their privacy settings, you can ask them directly. If you don't have an Xbox Game Pass membership and want to join the realm, you'll need to purchase a membership or ask the realm owner to change your privacy settings.

I hope this helps.

Best regards.

Hi. My name is Kyle and I'm an independent advisor.

Do you have an active Game Pass subscription? This is required for online multiplayer.

Check your subscriptions here: https://account.microsoft.com/services

Thanks,
Kyle

everytime he sends me a invite to the game i accept the invite and then it just takes me to purchase the game pass so there’s nothing else to do but buy it at this rate

To change the Minecraft Realm privacy for everyone, follow these steps:

Sign in to your Xbox account.
Open the Xbox app and select “Minecraft.”
Select “Settings” and then “Privacy and security.”
Select “Change online privacy and security settings.”
Select “Everyone” to allow anyone to join your Realm, or select “Friends” to allow only your friends to join.
Save the changes.