How do I change my xbox home account?

You can find instructions on how to change the Home setting at https://beta.support.xbox.com/help/hardware-network/console/my-home-xbox

Change your home console, then change it in your Microsoft account. that's how I do it.

My suggestion is that you make your son's profile the home Xbox. The account that has no gold should be set to home inorder to share the subscription.

No. The account with gold has to be the one to set the console as their Home in order to share. The account without gold setting the console as his Home would not effect sharing of the gold account.

Maybe this was the issue. I set the console as home on my profile, maybe I need to do it from my older son's profile since he has the gold membership? If so how do i change that since i thought it applied to all the profiles if the console was set to the
home from one of the profiles.

Its my friends account but he is not changing the home xbox, does it do it automatically?

That page didn't help me with my issue. It doesn't show how to change my home xbox, it just says I can do it.