how can i stop my xbox one to download updates

Well, as games will only be playable online with the latest updates, if you don't mind playing offline only you can just disconnect the console from your internet connection.

There's no way to play online without the latest updates installed.

If you're games get laggy while playing online it's not because of any updates as they are not downloaded during playing!

System Updates will be prompted to download on starting up the console and are mandatory for an online connection. Game updates are prompted to download when you start the game. There are no downloads while playing online games.

So if you experience lag while playing there have to be other reasons for that, like other devices in your network causing traffic and bandwidth usage or a bad connection itself.

"my system update for my Xbox One X cannot go through because it stops at 13% "

What section does the system update stop at 13%? Download, Verification or Applying?

If its the Download section, and your network connection is good, a
Power cycle of the console should allow the update to continue.

Does it stop or just pause? How long do you wait? It could be downloading updates first.

Also, all games will work on whichever Xbox One console.

Hi Jonah,

Thanks for reaching out to us today. I'm sorry to hear about the current issue installing Gears of War 4.This issue can occur if the console tries to download an update for the game while the game is installing.
For example, if you see a “Download stopped” error, you may need to install an update before the download can complete.

If you're trying to download and install a digital game, see Problems downloading a game
or app on Xbox One.

To fix this issue, try the following solutions on our article

'The installation process stops at or near 0% when installing an Xbox One game from a disc'

Give it a shot let us know how it goes.