home xbox sharing problems

Get another xbox then you wont have to share

If you are referring to making your Xbox your "Home" Xbox, you can only do it 3 times in a 1 year period.

From support:

You can change which console is your home Xbox up to three times during a one-year period. This period works on a rolling basis, starting the moment you change your home Xbox for the first time. For example, if you make your console your home
Xbox for the first time on January 1st, and then change it two more times, on February 1st and March 1st, you will not be able to change it again until January 1st of the following year. The next time you'll be able to change it after that will be on the following
February 1st, and then again on March 1st. Please make a note of the dates when you change your console to your home Xbox so that you'll know when you can change its designation again.

When you change home consoles, all device licenses for digital content will move to your new home Xbox. These device licenses will no longer be available on your old "home" Xbox.

Regardless to what you remember doing apparently the system thinks it has been done 3 times. If someone you share with removes it and then adds it back that also counts.

You will have to contact support directly as they are the only ones that can reset that counter. Keep in mind since there is a 3 change per year limit they are not obligated to do it but definitely worth a try.
support.xbox.com/.../contact-us

Good Luck!

Sharing is easier if you're both in the same room and you have at least 2 controllers.

I've had this problem to were my home Xbox would share gold to other accounts. I changed the home Xbox recently and waited a day and the issues cleared up. Gold was shared.