Hi I got banned 3 days ago

If you're going to a family member/friend's house, and you want to sign into your account to play your games while there, that's fine because you are physically there to sign into your account and sign out of it.

If you or your friend/family member gives each other your account details, that violates the terms of service and puts you both at risk for being banned. Also, as mentioned previously, you are responsible for your account at all times. So if your friend/family member then uses your account to play games/buy things with your money/does something to get you banned, saying "it wasn't me, someone else was using my account" won't work as a defense. End of story.

Yeah but what if your family members doesn’t live with you? It doesn’t actually pacifically say they have to live with you to game share with them.

Once you set a console as your Home, your account doesn't need to be on the console or signed in at all. But again, it's meant to be used in your own Home on your own console.

I would still need to put my Xbox account on the Xbox to make it home and then my account would still be on my family members Xbox or if they give me their account and I made theirs my home then that means I’d have their account, well that’s how I thought it worked as I have learning difficulties

I let my cousin use my Xbox account for gold and games for gamerscore and the thing is she got banned on all of her accounts and my Xbox account was banned

Lending out your account, signing into accounts that you do not own, and/or sharing your account's login information are all against the TOS and can lead to permanent bans.