Game updates kicking you out of the game.

Mine's instant on and auto updates sometimes plays up. Having a quick check on start up is painless, I do it by habit now.

Turning off auto update won't help, typically Insider updates are forced between 6-8 hours after release. Best option is to manually check in settings, update as soon as you boot up the console. The OP should be checking at https://www.reddit.com/r/xboxinsiders/new/
as that will have the date of each build and which preview ring is getting it.

Talk down to someone else. You don't have the right to tell people to calm down. You don't have the right to decide who's anger is justified or hyperbolic.

I have every right to be upset when I pay for a service that does not warn me when it's going to update. Especially, when it has booted me out of games at least once a week. That's BS. I pay money. Warnings would help resolve this and seem more than reasonable.

Insider program or not. It doesn't' take much intelligence and foresight to say, "hey it would be nice to allow players the option to save before we kick you out and force an update on your console". Feels pretty practical to me.

Fix it Microsoft. This is not a request, but a condition of my continued subscription.

Set the console to instant on. Updates will typically run when you're not using the console and you will never notice them. I've been in the Insider program since it started and never notice updates.

Also, you're not forced to be constantly connected. You can set your console to offline.

Are you in the insiders program to get new dashboard builds before others? If you want to stop these frequent updates you can un-enroll from the preview program through the preview app.

Also, you could turn the option off for automatic updates in the power settings but you will still need the latest update to play online multiplayer.