Game lag and delay while trying to stream to mixer directly

What are your PC specs? All of them.

I found things worked much better when I used Xsplit, though it does take a huge amount of CPU/GPU to run.

I want to assume this is a core issue with the lag, not a net bandwidth issue by what you have described. I do know that the Mixer Acadamey says to install and run Xsplit. I would suggest you do the same.

I stream to Facebook,Mixer, sometimes to twitch .

but if im directly on my xbox i stream to Mixer,

I would use the game bar to stream directly to mixer

i want to play some games at my xbox with my friend,but he is far away from me,can i stream the xbox to my pc and his pc at the same time? or at least only his pc?

Well, not with the Xbox App on your PC. However, if the game (and the speed of your and your friend's internet connection) supports it, you can stream your gameplay to
Mixer.

Mixer has interactive features, where you can share a controller to the Mixer streaming website, and the viewers (including your friend) can then "grab" the shared controller and play the game with you.

Be aware however, that if you stream the game to the PC via the Xbox App, you can't stream to Mixer.

You will have to locally play on your Xbox console, and stream to Mixer for your friend to be able to play with you.

Also be aware, that while Mixer provides low latency streaming, there is still some lag happening, so your friend would be at a disadvantage, playing through the stream. So don't try to play timing sensitive games.

Well the millions of people that stream directly from their Xbox which Microsoft, Mixer and Xbox all promoted have to deal with an overlay on their screen while playing a game. It is (in many peoples opinion) unattractive. And if a stream app is not being
used, you do not have to see it at all.