Every time I join a party it says that my privacy settings are preventing talking in parties

I join a party with any of my friends and says your privacy settings prevent chat with some people go to it have it set on friends but still do sent work

This is generally due to your account being a child account, but if you do not know if it is, or what your admin account would be, you would need to contact official Xbox support members via call or chat support and they can get you the info you would need.
Or help you straighten it out if it's not that your a child account

Hello Ava M, My name is David. I am an independent advisor, happy to help you today.

I'm sorry you're going through this.
Please note that some party features on Xbox, such as joining or starting a party, may require an Xbox Live Gold subscription. Verify that your subscription is active and in good standing. If you do not have an active subscription, you may need to renew your subscription to access these features.

Certain privacy and security settings on your Xbox account may be preventing you from joining parties or starting a party. Go to the privacy settings on your Xbox account and verify that it is set to allow party features.

Best regards.

If you have them in a family account there may be restrictions in place that prevent party chats. You may want to check the online safety and privacy settings to make sure nothing is preventing them from talking to people.

The same thing happened to me. My buddy and I were in an invite only party, my friend invited his friend, when they were done talking, I kicked him, every time i do that, he joins back instantly, claiming it says "Disconnected from Xbox LIVE party"