Dear Microsoft

Dear Microsoft Corporation,

You first introduced me to your Microsoft products when I was in high school. It goes without saying Microsoft has played a role in changing the world and may have even helped our current president win the election.

The purpose of this letter is to share with you a few little secrets that will improve your business. But first let me share with you my qualifications. My training began when I was in high school. I began using Internet Explorer to find pictures of naked
women while my parents were out of the house. I opened up a hotmail account during those endeavors and to this day, about 15 years later, I still get emails advertising viagra despite our best efforts to block them.

With that in consideration, we both can agree that I am an average user of a windows based PC. Today the number of searches continue to grow and the world is extremely grateful for Internet Explorer and Hotmail.

Please read the following closely. It is because of the lessons learned from this experience, that I have discovered ways to help you generate more revenue for your company.

Recently I purchased an xboxone. As a consequence I know have to ask a very important question: How is it ok to sell a product that is not ready to be used when it comes out of the box? It took approximately 18 hours of failed attempts over the span of
two weeks, just to get passed the initial update. It never did down load successfully, eventually I was able to down load the zip file.

After that stepping stone I discovered the game “Madden 17,” that was advertised as being included with the purchase of the console, does not physically come with the console. If I was unable to download the initial update, there is no way I will be able
to down load a game.

It seems as if things were not going my way. Although I wasn’t discouraged because I had a backup plan. When I purchased the xboxone, I also purchased the game Halo 5. I loved this game when I played it years ago and I have been anxious to play the brand
new edition. I put the disc in the console and patiently waited while it downloaded. When it was all said and done, it doesn’t play. The game requires an update. I am not really surprised or disappointed at this point. My emotions are numb.

Finally this is how you can improve your business and get return customers. You need to mark clearly on the box of your product something like the following:

“Warning: this game console requires a good internet connection for the remainder of your purchase to download, within a reasonable amount of time, before you can have an enjoyable gaming experience. If you do not have access to fast internet you will spend
countless hours waisting your time. Enjoy your new purchase of landfill.”

Before I made the the purchase, I inquired about the requirements of the internet. The Best Buy Employee assured me it was not required.

I will not be returning to the United States until mid February. By then too much time would have elapsed to be able to return the console.

Thanks again for your time and consideration regarding the matter. I also have other suggestions on how you can generate more revenue for your company. If you are interested, please email me at
L: [Mod Removed] and include the code word “Viagra” in the subject line.

Regards,

Rollin Moore

:)

 

Dear Microsoft,

Do others use this controller? You may not be aggressive when you play but perhaps others are.

I know that when my son plays he has his own controller because he pushes a little too hard on the sticks.

 

Dear Microsoft,

It's not that I'm aggressive, I take very good care of my things, I don't think I've ever been angry at a game in the past three years, I've never thrown my controller and I usually try to clean them too. It just won't connect. Tried multiple battery packs,
tried re-syncing, the thing just doesn't want to connect.