Can't play with a specific friend unless another friend hosts for both of us...

Hey everyone who might see this. This is a very long and emotionally-fueled sort of plea for help. I've been at my limit since my family bought the Xbox Series X for us to enjoy, maybe even longer. For context, I use my father's account because of many reasons that to some might seem weird, reasonable, or not. Anyways, as the subject says, I cannot play any games with my closest friend, but only if we have a buddy of ours host the session. Although it has happened the most on Terraria, it is not a localized problem, and definitely nothing new for us, for it has been happening since, well the only way I can remember it as due to following the bandwagon back then, Season 8 of Fortnite. And before anyone mentions these things: Yes, my friend and I both live very close to each other, same ISP, different consoles, similar network stats, and have done everything we can, per Xbox support, forums, etc. Also, here's my list of previous and current consoles compared to my friend, for further context:

Me:

Xbox 360 (2004-2011 [Red rings of death])

Unknown Iteration Xbox One (2013/2014-2019 [Fatal hard drive error, managed to recover data])

Xbox One X (2019-Present [Used as Xbox for younger sister after purchase of Series X, ironically the Xbox One X I got basically exploded in 2020 due to poor refurbishment])

Xbox Series X (2021-Present [The console that my dad and I use. The Xbox where the problem forced me to ask for help from you guys])

Friend:

Xbox 360 (???-2020 [Red rings of death])

First Iteration Xbox One (???-Present [Basically on life support; Power supply is going, hard drive is getting slow, and just generally falling apart and still operational {As in being able to run Minecraft with significant stress occurring}])

Admittedly, this has gotten so odd, old, and frustrating that I'm losing general hope. I hope someone, maybe even a Microsoft Team member or something, could help explain to me or help fix this problem. And for security reasons and some sort of confidentiality, I will not mention specific names, or gamer tags for that matter, unless a Microsoft Staff member asks me in a PM or DM. Now, it's story time: Grab your snacks, drinks or whatever, because I had a lot of emotion channeled into this.

The reference is besides the point, but in my opinion tells you how long it has been happening. Initially, it started as maybe the occasional matchmaking error for any mode on that game, but then progressed to where we couldn't even host for or join each other at all. Whenever we collectively decided that the game had run its course for now, we abandoned it around May of 2019, seemingly putting an end to the misery that was only worsening. Much to our dismay, this problem was starting to show signs that it was not just a problem with that game, but something that would haunt us for a while, and do such strange things to us that we can't find answers to.

Maybe a few months after we abandoned Fortnite, we didn't really have much to play together since our families were so broke, and we eventually didn't converse on Xbox until around December 2020 (Although since we went to school together, and knew how to call-hop with Google Meets and Zoom, we did talk and have fun anyway.) A sort of beacon of hope began to show itself to us when my friend was able to buy the Xbox-port for Minecraft: Bedrock Edition (Otherwise known as just non-PC Minecraft with crossplay.) With this on the playing field, we instantly decided to play right away. Up until January 2021, things had gone very well with playing together, and we just had fun, with the occasional bug, glitch, error, etc. The weeks following the New Year were starting to prove that it wasn't just going to be a pandemic that would cause us grief and pain, but rather the bug we'd managed to ignore and not be affected by for so long. Second week of January, we tried joining each other's sessions. I remember trying to host, but according to my friend it kept failing to connect or had some ungodly error that didn't seem right (But nothing downright ridiculous). Then, I convinced him to let me join one of his worlds, and I got to see what he was experiencing: The same errors. At this point, we didn't know what to do. We threw our hands up in resignation (I guess?), closed our games, and just sent dumb images, memes, and texts to each other for the rest of the night. After that, the cycle of dissociation on Xbox began again.

Enter May 2021. My dad comes home with an box as unusually large as his expressions of excitement and glee. He explains to the family that he has arranged for the monthly payment plan for owning an Xbox Series X: I was elated. All I could think of was the new games that I could play, and all of the ones I still play looking and working so much better. After setting it up, optimizing it, syncing data, and everything else, I went straight to the Microsoft Store and downloaded Enlisted, a game that I both love and hate with passion in both feelings. At that point, we didn't have many games, for my dad had the belief that this was HIS Xbox, and that he can do with it as he pleases. I still respect that idea, so I never push boundaries. However, since my sister had and still refuses to let me use the Xbox One X that she now has in her room, I'd been distanced from practically everyone I know on Xbox, and that forced my anti-social and change-sensitive self to try making new friends, with small success here and there. This goes on until about December of last year (2021), when I learned something amazing.

At this point, I was used to not playing with my friends on Xbox, for a vast majority of the games I played either were single-player or weren't owned by my friends. On December 16th, I came to school and waited for THE BOYS, as we called ourselves, just like any other day. When the friend of mine in-question sat down next to me, he looked very secretive, but in way that he was hiding something good. He turns to me and asks me, "Guess what I got yesterday?" to which I asked him "What?" He looks me dead in the eyes as if he was expecting even a small reaction and says, "Game Pass Ultimate and f***ing Terraria." I said "Well damn, I guess I'll have to transition back to console Terraria, huh?" And he never elaborated on it further that day. Sadly, due to me being a master-procrastinator, we never got to actually play together until the 24th of January, due to family, financial, and personal issues on both sides. January 24th was the day that I decided that this stuff needed to be dealt with, because the age-old problem that had plagued us had returned, but in a way that boggles our minds.

We get home from school, having officially arranged a date on which we could play that day. I get my copy of the Terraria disk out of my sister's room, and instantly got to downloading it. The entire process was smooth and painless in that department. The other problems, like having to adjust ALL of my key bindings and settings to be more usable on the new 1.4 update, were at most an inconvenience. Now it's the part where the pain begins again. We initially decided to hop on one of our buddy's worlds, who had been playing with my close friend since the period between learning of his purchase and the day we begin playing together. Everything was seemingly awesome: Minor latency, yes, but being the only guy in the group who had been in post-game since 5 months after 1.3's release was just amazing, since I felt like I had a use for all the stuff I had stashed and deemed useless. The session lasted from about 4PM until 6PM, when the buddy hosting decided to hop off and play with my close friend's brother, and then my friend and I were scared: Is this the part where we can't join each other? The answer, sadly, was yes. Every time I tried hosting or tried to join him, the game would get stuck on "Connecting to server" for about 15-30 seconds, then say "Failed to connect to the Server." We were at a loss for words, and now a bigger question had emerged: Why could we play with each other when someone else hosted, but can't whenever we host for each other? That's the question we have yet to find the true answer to. The real kick in the balls is that it has been like this ever since, and it's starting to make me feel guilty about essentially relying on a buddy just to play with someone else. I just want to play with my friend, whom has been suffering with me exactly the same, without doing extra just to even exist together, is what it feels like.

So story time is basically over, now let's get analytical. My friend and I have both gone through every step and trick we've been given (Changing IP, checking NAT, comparing network stats, and everything else), and nothing seems to work for us. No page that the lovely staff at Microsoft has posted is either relevant or able to provide substantial solutions and explanations. The only three reasonable explanations could be:

1: My friend, the buddy that hosted, and I have different generations of consoles. My friend, as I mentioned, has been using the First Iteration of Xbox One. The buddy who has been hosting has an Xbox One S. I, once again, have the Xbox Series X. The only reason this seems anywhere near valid to us is that this whole thing could be a result of cross-gen multiplayer. But that is instantly invalidated by the fact that this has been going on since the Spring of 2019, so cross-gen really wouldn't make sense

2: Our networks are all the same, but our latencies and plans obviously differ. However, the only significant difference between my friend and I's networks stats is a 8 Mbps difference on Download Speeds. I'm not the most tech-savvy guy so this is as much as I can determine as reasonable grounds for this belief.

3: Maybe a very unlikely one, since nothing has been emailed, messages, sent, or anything of the sort that would tell us that we were shadowbanned/not allowed to join each other. The people reading this might cast logic for that...

But seriously, what is wrong that causes my friend and I to not be able to play with each other under the weirdest circumstances ever? If anyone could help me without being redundant or rude, how could I say that I'd be more than thankful for any help or solace if this is a permanent thing. I just want to rest my head at night knowing the truth, just like my friend wants to. Anyways, have a good night/day/evening or whatever to everyone who took the time to pity me and read what some would consider a college essay of a forum post. I thank you.

P.S. I was torn on what I should've put as the second category tag for this post, because it falls under friends, but also gaming. I hope it's a valid tag.

:)