Can't figure out how to change my kids roles in Family Group. Please help!!!

Hi and thanks for reaching Microsoft Xbox gamer's community. My name is Josef.
I'm an Independent Advisor and a Microsoft Xbox user like you.

Hope you're doing great today despite this Crazzzy

May I know if you tried adding your childs via the family group webpage?
https://account.microsoft.com/family/home

Also, please double check if your the child's account birth years are correct here:
(sign in each one)
https://account.microsoft.com/profile

Let me know the results, I'll be waiting
Greetings

I have the parental role in the family group I just tried the singing out and in but still i cant change it

Thanks anyway

I'm Samy an independent advisor. Welcome to the Xbox community. How are you?

If you're trying to access the privacy page to change your account settings but you can't, it means your account is a child's account and you can't change it.
You will need an adult within a family group to change your account's privacy settings.

An organiser in an Xbox family group can manage settings for members who are in the family group. Kids can only see (and not manage) their own settings.

To learn more about family group roles, see:

Learn about family group roles, permissions, and data sharing

1. Sign in to your Microsoft account.Sign in at Xbox
   
2. Select your gamertag, and then select the More actions button (…).
   
3. Select Xbox settings, and then select Privacy & online safety.
   
   Note Because you’re accessing sensitive info, you may have to enter your password or passkey.
   
4. Select the gamertag for the account that you want to manage.
   
5. Select either the Xbox One/Windows 10 Online Safety tab or the Privacy tab.
   
6. Review the current settings and update any that you want to change, and then select Submit to save the changes.
   
   Note You must select Submit at the bottom of the page before leaving or switching to another tab. If you don't submit the changes before you move to the other tab, your changes won't be saved.
   
7. Have the member sign in and then sign out of their account on the console to make sure the changes take effect.
   

So I found the game but now neither one of my kids can play online on the servers and I can't figure out how to change the settings

If your friend is redirected to the "manage app privacy settings on Xbox" page, it means that his account is linked to a family group. The the organized of the family group needs to Log in to Xbox settings. Then select the child account's (your friend's account) profile and changed the settings.

For more insights about the family group, visit Microsoft Family group roles, permissions, and data sharing.