Accidently Double Clicked for 2 years worth of service

Sorry to hear it. What you'll need to do is give phone support a call and let them know what happened. They should be able to help you out. Click the link below to get the number for your region.

support.xbox.com/contact-us

Make sure to also double check xbox live services while maybe not likey it's the issues it's always worth checking out if the service is having a problem

It did not work. I have removed Xbox, and I have removed Gaming services entirely. No registry entries, no services, no folder in windowsapps. Nothing.

It's worth noting that GamePass games that were installed that still have a shortcut on the desktop, EVEN THOUGH Xbox isn't installed, if double clicked, still go to the windows store page for gaming services, as if uninstalling gaming services and xbox did nothing.

It's so broken. I don't get it.

I would return it before the time runs out on returns. Then decide if you want to get another, but maybe have the same issue. At least if you return now, you can get your money back and when a fix is found buy another one. That's a lot of money
to be lost.

And if I bought through a 3rd party and opted out of the warranty?

"To everyone saying "just return it": that is wholly and quite literally NOT THE POINT."

If you have a receipt you might want to return it for cash and wait for a new revision (or get the first edition controller).