3 kids, 3 consoles, 3 copies of Minecraft, and 3 GOLD subscriptions? (is that right?)

Doesn't seem right.

One household with 3 purchased copies of a game should be able to play
locally without going "online".

I can't believe that it would take three subscriptions to play.

Right know I have a 3 month gold subscription and if a dont turn on my console for a 3 months would i still have my membership?

Right now HOME xbox sharing is limited to one console. I understand where you are coming from I have 5 consoles in my home So I share with another console and my sons share with each other. the fifth console has its own subscription so in all I pay for
3 subscriptions to gold and 3 subscriptions to Game pass. as well as having to buy more than one copy of a game if we all want to play

Let me see if I can explain it for you a little better.

No matter what console an account is signed into it will always be able to play its digital games and use any of its subscriptions (gold, game pass, EA access)

Each profile can set ONE console at a time as its home console and ANY other profile on that console can then play its digital games and use its subscriptions without the main account being signed in at the same time.

Each profile can change which console they have set as their HOME console only FIVE times a year.

So lets look at your situation. You said you have all the subscriptions and games under your account

I will use this diagram

A1- Your account- Has all the digital games and subscriptions

A2- Kid 1 account

A3- Kid 2 account

A4- Kid 3 account

No matter which of the 3 consoles you sign into you will be able to play the digital games and use your subscriptions

C1- Console 1 - You set this console as your home console ALL 3 kids would be able to play your games and use your subscriptions

C2- Console 2 - Would only be able to play your games and use your subscriptions if you are signed in at the same time

C3- Console 3 - Would only be able to play your games and use your subscriptions if you are signed in at the same time

The thing is this you would only be able to be signed into ONE console at a time so in the scenario above only 2 of your kids would be able to play any of your digital games at the same time. Now if you were to buy a Physical copy in the above scenario
Console 3 would be able to play the game on their console at the same time as the other 2 kids but they would not be able to use any of your subscriptions.

So in your scenario if the game is an ONLINE only game you would at least need 2 gold subscriptions and 1 digital copy of the game and 1 physical copy of the game.

They should never of been able to play that game at the same time online unless someone somewhere had a gold subscription.

Once you signed in on the 3rd xbox it should have signed you out of the second xbox and kicked that kid from the game and online if he was online.

Now you did say that you bought the Xboxes used It is possible that someone else still has that xbox set as their home xbox and still has an active gold subscription that is allowing your kid to use it.

This is happening on ALL 3 consoles in my house. I seriously doubt that all 3 drives failed simultaneously.

What is the issue and how do I escalate it? Paying 3 monthly subscription fee's for my kids, and not being able to utilize the service is not very acceptable.